Finding the Right Match

So far I have to say, for me finding the right match has been the hardest part of my surrogate journey.  I know many women do this for many different reasons.  To me, I could not do this unless I found the right connection with a couple.  I feel this to be a very intimate connection.  I could not imagine doing this for someone or couple and not growing a strong friendship.  After just about giving up, I had received an email asking me if I was still interested in becoming a surrogate.  I immediately replied with a yes.  After some email conversations I realized that was not the connection for me.  Although it gave me a renewed thought that maybe I could still do this.  So I got back on one of the surrogates sites I had been on previously and started trying to connect with couples again.  I met a few wonderful people I actually still keep in touch with, but just not that "right" connection.  One day I found a link to another site that I had not been to before, so away I went to check it out.  While checking out this other site, I found a very large number of couples that were same sex couples.  Something I had not given any thought to before at all, it just was not on my radar.  I guess I had always imagined in my mind doing this for a woman who physically just could not carry a pregnancy for some reason or another.  Well after reading a number of posts/ads that were same sex couples looking for a surrogate, I decided to respond to a few.  A couple of them just did not have that feel good vibe about them, and then I responded to one I really wanted to talk to more.  I guess the two things that stuck out to me in our initial emails, they were both respectively the same ages as my husband and I, and that they had been together for 20 years.  I do know many couples split up after 20 or more years but I felt that after 20 years they were making the decision to have children, I was sure it was not a decision made lightly.  With each email correspondence I felt very comfortable with these two "wanna be dads".  We then spent a better part of 5 months getting to know each other via emails and phone calls.  They had a clinic that was willing to work with me and my age.  After sending all my previous pregnancy records to their clinic, it was time to meet and go through the medical screening process.

The last day of February was set up for all medical screening and psych screening to be done at their clinic.  We live a few states away from each other, we agreed to drive to their house the night before and stay with them for the whole weekend.  Some people were surprised by this decision, but it was the right one for us.  My husband, our two boys and I set out for a road trip.  My older daughters knew about all the possible plans and thought it was great that I would do this, especially for a gay couple.  Our next thought was how to approach it with the boys since they are much younger and things needed to be more age appropriate.  We told the boys we were going to visit some friends of ours.  We told them they were two guys that were married and really wanted to have a baby or two.  The first thing our older boy said, "well they can't, there is no mommy".  It was a very matter of fact statement.  So my husband then explained to the boys that is what I might do for them, and instantly the older boy piped up again with "I do not want you to have a baby".  Hubby told him the baby would not be ours or for us, he looked a little confused.  So hubby then gave him an analogy from our farm, compared this to our chickens and that how sometimes some hens lay eggs but will not hatch them, and we give them to another hen to hatch.  For some reason this made perfect sense to him and he was good with it. (it was really an interesting and comical conversation)

It was an all day drive from our house to theirs.  We arrived around midnight.  It was a very comfortable meeting instantly!  They treated us as long lost family!  We had a very busy day ahead of us, so there was just a little small talk and off to bed.  My oldest daughter is living part time very close to the guys, so we had planned for our boys to get to spend the day with big sissy so we adults could do all the medical and psych stuff.